So as I wrote yesterday, I saw Owen. Well, later that day I went to a party and Owen texted me as he was getting off work, obviously hinting he wanted my company. So I went over and we hung out with his friends and roommate for a bit, then we went to his room and cuddled and watched a comedy show.
I normally am not into comedy shows, but this guy kept me laughing which is hard to do.
After that one thing led to another and we obviously slept together. Ironically it marks the one year anniversary of me losing my virginity. I thought that was funny. Also, what was shocking was there was no issues! No flashbacks or worries. I was able to be there in the moment. It was nice to know I’m still capable of that.
Afterwards we ate some cereal before going to bed. I was talking about how the past couple days I had been restricting a bit because of the costume and then we talked about the cereal we were eating because I mentioned it was healthy which got me talking about my mom and her views on food. Once I finished talking Owen was like, “ready to go to bed?” and I nodded.
It was funny the guy who called me secretive got the chance to hear me open up a bit and didn’t comment at all. It’s whatever though. It reminded me of what it was. Just a friends with benefits- I think.
In my head this is how it is. He is ten years my senior so we are mutually using each other for sex because he can say, “I hit a twenty year old,” and I can say, “I hit a thirty year old.” At least that’s what I feel it is. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Owen’s company- to a degree!
Since he is mr Army guy and doesn’t open up that puts a barrier up between us already, even as just friends. So with that in place I can only be around him so much before I get- what’s the word- bored? That sounds harsh but if the only thing we can do is talk about superficial things and nothing deep than the whole thing between us will be superficial.
Also he is auditioning for my film, and then we might go to the shooting range later next week. That will be fun.
All in all, I don’t really feel much anymore when it comes to Owen- romantically speaking. Sure there’s the physical attraction, but emotional attraction not so much. I am meeting up with that cute guy I met in AA later today. Do I feel guilty? No- because it’s not a date. It’s just grabbing coffee and talking.
I do wonder though if Owen and I are going to have to talk about what the rules/boundaries are with us and other people… I guess I’ll ask if we end up sleeping together again.