So I’ve been home since Monday. I’ve been crazy exhausted, plus my anorexia is kind of acting up I would say. So I’ve been a bit distracted.
On Monday I got my friend Andy, who I’ve mentioned previously, to drive me to the airport. We talked and we were good. But he hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend. He says is she loses her shit again within the first week of break it’s over. He will be flying to New York in a week and said since I am around there that we should hang. He also said that the whole cheating thing isn’t my problem, that it’s his and to not worry about it all. I am just glad that our friendship wasn’t affected from our mistake. Plus when I get back to school I plan to have a birthday dinner and invited him to it, and I need a place to hold the party after dinner and he said he might have his place ready by then since he is moving.
Since getting home I have had one breakdown because of how triggering my house is for Eric memories, and am officially back into exercising for the first time in a while. I am actually enjoying my exercise routine though. It’s basically just a switch between walking and running on an incline anywhere from 25-45 minutes. I do that maybe twice a day if I feel like it. I want to get in shape because Andy is going to teach me self-defense next quarter, and because I am going to be in Acting for the Camera, so I want to look good.
I am not sure if that is too much and getting back into my old anorexic exercise habits or normal… Plus at home, aside from the new treadmill, we also have a scale. That evil thing. Yeah, I weighed myself and because I was three pounds over what I thought I was that is why I am getting into this whole exercise routine plus cut back on some food (like candy, dessert, minimize starches).
Today is Thanksgiving, so to all of you out there reading, “Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with friends and family!”
My Thanksgiving however is not so fun. Why? Well here is a list.
- I have anorexia and am currently struggling with body image
- This holiday was the holiday we would spend with our family friend who has cancer
- I spent this holiday with Monster and his family last year
So this holiday brings up a lot for me. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy Thanksgiving usually, it’s just that this is the first year since the rape, and it’s the first time we aren’t, as a family, spending Thanksgiving with our family friend.
Overall I am trying to enjoy my break. I want to be able to write my novels, exercise and get in shape, and have fun with friends. That’s not too much to ask right?