Had a bad night

Last night I decided to watch two movies. One, too embarrassing to admit, and the other, To Write Love On Her Arms. Well, as you can guess it was kind of triggering. I mean, great movie, but I was crying through out the movie. It definitely gave me urges to self-harm but at the end it passed. But lots of Owen things came up last night.

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I am honestly humiliated about it. Still. I am still utterly humiliated and ashamed of what Owen did. With Monster, it’s been so long that I’ve accepted it. Same with Peter. Owen is still very fresh. I just feel shitty most of the time. I am scared to socialize and be normal. I’m afraid of a guy hitting on me.

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All that makes me mad. Very mad. With therapy, time and treatment I’ll heal, but damn, it’s going to be one painful recovery.

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XOXO Anna

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