Struggling in my recovery…

I am currently doing EMDR for my PTSD. I’ve finished working on Monster, and will be starting on Owen next week. With going through EMDR my emotions are heightened. I am extremely sensitive. With all these painful memories coming up and having to work through them, I’ve fallen back on my anorexia a bit.

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I’ve been struggling to get three meals in. I’ve been putting off eating or finding ways to avoid it. I am NOT proud of it. That’s why I’m writing about it. I feel if someone reads this, then they know I’m struggling and then I’m more accountable. I told my mom the other day I was struggling.

I am sadly going to admit that today was a real struggle. All I had was one Ensure around 11 and am now finally having some bagel bites. I am going out to a family friend dinner tonight so I will definitely eat a good balanced meal tonight. I honestly need to just go to a grocery store and buy food I know I’ll eat. I’ve been lazy. I admit it.

But that’s going to change. The last thing I need is to fall back into my anorexia. So trying to stay strong and eat normally!

XOXO Anna

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