On Monday my dad was in the hospital. His heart stopped during a stress test and he needs a pacemaker which was the best outcome after all the tests. I’m just glad my dad’s okay and will be getting the pacemaker in the next week. In my treatment center, my therapist is leaving. That was rough, and on monday in treatment when we went for a walk, I saw a car like Owens in the parking lot so that was not fun.
Yesterday was pretty chill but a bit stressful still. Cody got drunk at the bar we go to and I was tipsy myself and I ended up driving us back to his house. We fell asleep but he was feeling sick and puked a little. I felt so bad for him, and he said he hasn’t been drunk in a long time.
Today has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Morning started off with my family talking to me about something, but the misunderstanding was quickly settled. I then met up with Cody at the coffee shop we go to, and well…things were not the best. We were talking about things and my past came up with Andy and that made things tense a bit. Cody was very jealous. I had a conversation I had with Andy screen shotted in my photos and Cody found it and was reading it and I had to explain the context and everything. Then we talked about ex’s and other past things and I told Cody that I wasn’t going to be the type of person to forget a name of someone I’ve done something with and he was like what do you mean, and I said I keep track. I said I had a list on my phone, and I swear he has never grabbed my phone so quickly.
My list is kinda long but not… like the list isn’t just people I’ve had sex with. The list contains people I’ve simply kissed or made out with. Cody looked and scrolled through the list and looked back at me with a face that said, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I am not proud of my past and his expression just kinda made me feel very slutty. I am by no means a slut. Most people I know have slept with double the amount I’ve slept with and had triple the amount of hook ups. So I am not a slut. I am very particular about who I sleep with or do things with.
Cody and I smoothed things over but still, I was sad that Cody got so upset by my past. Wasn’t a good feeling. But again, we are good.
I then went to NYC to do the application process, and I sat down, showed my transcripts and high school diploma and she went to make copies and came back and my mom asked how long it would take to know if I got in and she replied with, “Oh, you’re already in. You have the grades. You just have to fill out the application and send me a confirmation that you’ve paid the fee and in three weeks you will be meeting with your advisor to sign up for classes.”
I am so fucking happy about that! I got in! I am going to NYC! Super fucking psyched!
I get home and my sister is in the kitchen and we actually talk. She claims I don’t love her. That is totally false. I would take a bullet for her. My dad said that as a family we would all talk about it. But tonight we are going to be going out to celebrate the fact that I got into the school I wanted to go to!
Hope everyone out there is having a good day!