I came home today and had bought a box of pasta, ice cream, and smart food. I had some ice cream because I was craving it. I mentioned to my mom I might want food later and she asked what I needed. Of course she started with “do you need string beans?” Maybe she said it innocently, but to me, it was not innocent. I finish snacking on my ice cream and I shower.
I come downstairs to blog and relax and mom mentions something about me and Cody eating out all the time. She then starts asking why Cody and I always eat together. I start getting angry. I tell her to back off and leave it alone. She won’t drop it. I tell her it’s nice to eat out with Cody. I tell her it’s easier on me, it means I don’t have to make my meals. She says she can make my dinner, and Cody can go to his house and eat dinner at his house. She asks what Cody did to eat before he met me.
There are many reasons I like to eat with Cody.
- It’s fun
- He is supportive, and will help me with the meal if he sees me struggling
- I don’t have to prepare a meal (because making meals is anxiety provoking enough for me to just skip eating)
I told my mom to back off and let Cody and I eat meals together. I told her she can’t talk about my treatment or my eating since she hasn’t been apart of this round of recovery. Cody has, and dad has. Those are the only two who can make a comment on eating and what might be beneficial.
I am really annoyed at my mom. I am angry, mainly because, to me, having her say that Cody and I should eat separately, is essentially saying to me that she is taking support away from me. She is making meals harder. I know that’s not what she intends. I know that she believes that, actually I don’t know.
I’ll apologize to her for yelling, but I honestly, if she starts with talking about my meals and food again, I am walking out of the room. Cody and dad have gone to the Family groups. They have been there to eat meals with me. Not mom. Not my sister.
Well, now to enjoy a couple glasses of Proseco and pray things stay calm tonight.