My whole day, besides breakfast with Cody has been working on figuring out things about my sister. I then took a break to watch Criminal Minds season 10 which finally has been uploaded to Netflix. But I printed out phone records going back to a year ago, even past a year ago, and it paid off too, I think. It’s really only two to three billing cycles that have past that had information that was more informative.
My sister still had a lot of anger towards me and my parents. She wrote some mean things. Not to fault her, because I am sure I’ve done wrong but the level of anger is what disturbs my dad. My mom said she has never seen my dad indecisive, which he has been the whole time about how to handle this. If I write about this in the future I’m going to refer to it as The Case just to keep things short.
But there are two to three numbers that stand out in the records. We are wondering is my sister plans to just hop scotch from one person to another until she has no money, which would be pretty soon. But again, these would be people she talked to over Omegle or Kik. People she doesn’t know in real life. That’s the scariest part.
I honestly can’t understand what in the world she is thinking. Does she not know how dangerous it is what she has done? All we know is her location, and that the person she is staying with is 18 and male. We don’t know a name. We know practically nothing. I had a nightmare about my sister last night and it made my morning rough. All I do is worry about my sister 24/7, same with my parents. There isn’t a second of the day where I’m not thinking about my sister, where she is, is she safe, will she come back, etc.
I just want her to be home and safe. I see that she is holding on to a lot of anger. My parents and I have talked and we can’t for the life of us figure out why she is so angry. Yeah, we understand her anger could be from me spending too much time with Cody and not being there for her, or that my parents weren’t going to let her go back to school, but the level is what we don’t understand. It’s extraordinary the amount of anger.
I just wish, and I never wish anything, that my sister would come home and that we as a family could talk about whatever she is going through so we can be there and help her. She is obviously going through something, but she never let anyone of us in, she never reached out and told us she needed us or that she was struggling. I mean, finding those razor blades and a kitchen knife hidden in her drawers was alarming. I mean, we don’t know if she was self-harming, but just seeing that was scary. There are so many questions that we don’t have answers too, and it’s driving us all crazy. We know certain things, but we have been struggling to tie the pieces together.
I still have like 60 pages of homework reading to do, plus helping Cody with his work too. I just don’t have the fucking energy or drive to do it. I’ve put all my energy into trying to connect the dots and keeping things organized on The Case. But when Cody gets home we plan to go on a run, shower, then eat and do homework, so by then I hopefully will have the motivation to do my work. I have to set an example for Cody. He has one page of reading and has to summarize what he read. That’s fucking easy as shit.
I’m going to go watch more Criminal Minds before seeing if anything has updated with The Case.
Hope everyone else is having a better day than I am!