It feels like I haven’t posted in a while. But it’s been one year since I signed up for WordPress, so I had to post. I tend to not post while trying to process through things.
Cody and his school work… oh that’s been hard. He has a test right now. Last night we started the homework and studying. Cody got frustrated maybe a half hour into doing the work. He didn’t finish the first lesson and got frustrated when looking at the second one. I got him to watch me do some problems so he would understand how they were done. I’m hoping he does alright, but we agreed the new way to handle homework is to do some problems each night so he isn’t overwhelmed the night before it’s due. Cody texted me and since he was late and only had twenty minutes before his class ended he didn’t go. I guess cody wasn’t exaggerating when he told me how hard it was going to be to get him to do his work and pass his classes.
Lately I’ve been triggered by Monster stuff. Monster and I got together around this time two years ago. Last year I was reporting him and waiting to hear back from my officer around this time last year. I also was kinda single and didn’t have a real, close, intimate, healthy relationship.
I’ve been projecting things that are Monster related onto Cody, and now that I know that’s why I’ve been off it makes me feel better. This is the first guy I’ve loved since Monster, and knowing my feelings for Cody makes me realize how little I did love Monster. Blair says it best above my feelings for Cody.
At least I now know why I’ve had irrational thoughts and feelings. But Monster and I got together around this time two years ago. I think it was on the 17th actually. Anniversaries are the worst. They always bring things up. Cody said he hadn’t noticed me being different or off. I let him know though so if it does become noticeable he will at least know why I’m off.
My parents even have been on my case because I’ve been so angry and irritable lately. (my mom is sitting next to me and literally as I was writing that sentence asked me why I’ve been so irritable). I haven’t told them it’s because of Monster issues. I probably will tell them eventually.
I finally have that job interview at that diner I applied to. It’s at 2:30 and I’m nervous. I hope it goes well…Only time will tell though. Hoping I get the job! Fingers crossed.