Love Hate Relationship

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I want to first state that I love my mom. But there are times when she drives me crazy! The other night my mom came into my bedroom and asked to talk to Cody and I. I was sitting on the bed while Cody was about to start gaming. My mom starts talking to us about my eating (or lack there of) and I’m already annoyed.

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Then she goes on to say to Cody, “Come on Cody, isn’t she too much to handle? I know you must feel that way.” My mom is staring at him with that face that says “agree with me.” Cody looks back to her and says, “Not at all. She isn’t too much.”

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Then my mom pulls the whole, “You two are 21, of course she is too much to handle.” That’s a hot button issue with Cody, when people tell him that because of his age he can’t understand or do something.

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When my mom left Cody and I talked and he tried to make me feel better. He really was annoyed at my mom because she thinks we are young 21 year olds in love and that it isn’t a serious relationship. It couldn’t be more opposite than that.

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Cody and I love each other. Not the whole bullshit in love thing, but actually love each other for who we are, flaws and all. We live together, we are able to compromise very well, and we get through disagreements/fights in a healthy and quick way. We also talk about the future, our career goals and family goals. Cody isn’t just one of my boyfriends. He is a partner, someone I can see in my future by my side being my team mate in life. I’ve never felt that way about anyone of my other boyfriends. Those relationships were the young and in love bullshit relationships that I knew would never work. Cody is different.

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I just wish my mom could see that we are serious about each other. I wish she could accept that not everyone in life will bail because I’m “too much.” Why would she even tell me that? I even told her the other week to stop telling me that I’m “too much” for Cody to handle. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve someone as good as Cody. Why would she ask Cody if I’m too much to handle for him in front of me? My therapist and I came to the conclusion that she is projecting. Maybe she feels like I’m too much for her to handle. But what parent feels that way about their child?

XOXO Anna

 

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6 thoughts on “Love Hate Relationship

  1. I got married recently, and I can’t help but feel that my family is mocking our love because we are “Young”. Well, it is also because they are not really fond of my husband.
    If it bothers you, just be straight with your mom and ask her not to say it anymore. Anyway, you have your partner’s support and thats what matters!
    Best of luck 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Congrats on the marriage! I think age shouldn’t determine how people view whether you really care about someone or not because everyone matures at a different pace. I’ve told my mom before to not comment but she is still doing it so guess I just have to live with hearing her doubt. But yeah Cody tells me not to listen to her because she doesn’t know Cody and I as a couple and how serious we are. Thanks, good luck to you too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Those with more years tend to think those with less years don’t know it all. And that’s true. But it doesn’t negate or diminish what IS felt and known. Cody has seen you, been with you, knows what the issues are. Can he solve them? Hell no. But he damn sight seems to be able to handle them well enough to keep him and you happy. So…..go with that.
    That said, yeah, that was a bit (a bit?!!) inappropriate of your mom. It reflects HER own insecurities, whether they are with you or a lost relationship she regrets from when she was 21, or whatever.
    You aren’t alone in dealing with mom’s. Mine’s all over me about what I’m going to do with the house when she’s gone. My response (I’ll figure it out when I need to) doesn’t mesh with her need for control….but that’s her issue, not mine.
    Hang in there girl!

    Liked by 1 person

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