Let me start this post off with stating that I don’t plan on committing suicide, but I did write a suicide letter just now. At first I was hurting when I wrote it, and then as I wrote it I grew sad knowing that if I ever did do that so many people would be devastated. That sucked because I don’t want to hurt those I love.
I think I wrote the note because of the emotions I am feeling because my sister is coming home tomorrow and I don’t know how to handle any of it. I wrote it to cope with my overwhelming feelings. I also finally wrote a letter to my sister. Feeling my feelings sucks. There’s a lot of pain and sometimes I don’t know how to handle it. I know I wanna cut. I know that won’t solve anything.
So I am going to try to life my mood before Cody and I go out to his friends Christmas party. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I hope that my mood gets better. I hate being a downer.