Yesterday was an anorexic day. By that I mean that I was constantly plagued with thoughts of my body and comparing it and not wanting to eat. Then to finish the night off when Cody and I were having sex, I was on top and suddenly I was in a flashback. Cody got me grounded within 30 seconds of me starting to freak out, but it was scary. I haven’t had a flashback like that in ages! I mean, last nights sex, I could tell I was a bit dissociated, but then suddenly I felt like I wasn’t with Cody and I was with Owen or Monster or something. I got really scared until Cody got me to realize I was with him.
Today has been better though. I haven’t had too much anorexic thoughts annoying me, and PTSD wise I haven’t had anything come up. Plus I am focusing on my writing right now and that keeps me pretty grounded and happy.