This morning Cody got up at a decent time. I didn’t even have to nag him to get up. He comes back upstairs after he ate breakfast and we have a really nice talk. It started with me asking if he was really sure about me. He said yes. Then we just started talking about things that we liked about each other and how happy we made each other. Plus the kissing in between was nice. And we were playful too, and I love that about us.
Really what got me thinking about this stuff was seeing Serena yesterday. She told me she was scrolling through Facebook and she said she commented on a picture of us to her boyfriend and said, “I bet they’re going to get married.”
When she said that, I was like, “well…Cody did say he wanted to get me a ring when he can afford one, which would be at least six months minimum.” She was happy to hear that and told me that she wanted to be a bridesmaid. I told her of course she was going to be one. Hell it was her and one of Cody’s friends that introduced us. Without them we would have never met. But Serena was like, “The engagement better be long.” I told her if we got engaged within the next year we wouldn’t get married until we graduate college, so that’s three years from now, and she was happy with that answer.
She realized that she wants to finally breakup with her boyfriend. There have been so many times where she will be like, “I want to break up with him” and then she never does it, but she is doing it this time. She finally realized she deserves better. Hell her boyfriend is an ass. He manipulates her into sex. She was working two jobs and had finals a couple weeks ago and she was exhausted and stressed so much that she was puking one morning at 4 AM and then the next morning her boyfriend asks her to have sex. She told him she was sick, and he said, “Oh you should go get some alkaseltzer.” He didn’t offer to get it for her and he pressured her for sex. She told me she has only had sex with him because he nags her for it. I honestly told her a while ago I wasn’t a fan of him and it was wrong of him to be constantly asking for sex when she said she doesn’t want to. I am just happy that she finally got to the place where she was ready to accept that they aren’t good for each other even if she loves him.
But this morning was nice. I talked to Cody about the future and future possible things that could come up that could cause tension and I wanted to make sure he was thinking seriously and not totally romantically when he says he wants to be with me forever. He told me in response, “Anna, we’ve already been through a hard time.”
He was referring to my sister and that situation. It’s true though. Cody and I have been through a really hard time, and during the beginning half of our relationship. We made it through that pretty damn well I would say. But it’s true, he has been there during my PTSD and anorexia. He was there when my family was falling a part. We’ve already been through a lot and we’ve managed to stay strong. I am confident in us.
The one thing that I told Cody was that I am uncomfortable being comfortable. I am more comfortable when I am in pain or just in discomfort. Like, if I’m in discomfort something already isn’t going right so maybe somehow that would mean that something else can’t go wrong. I know irrational, but I guess it was the way I coped growing up. Trying to control the uncontrolable. I am not used to being happy and comfortable and for once in my life I have been since I’ve met Cody. I told him I’m still not used to it. He said I would eventually get used to it. It’s just very strange for me to have things going right. With Cody in my life, things have been going right. The only thing that I worry about sometimes is losing what I have with Cody. I truly can’t imagine my life without him. I can’t imagine us breaking up. Just thinking about it hurts. But I have met the guy of my dreams. Seriously, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be with Cody.