Last night I wanted an apple because Cody and I were too tired to cook by the time he got home from Parkour. He mentioned he was going to snack on an apple and I said that I wanted one too and he changed his mind about the apple after. I told him he didn’t need to cut me up an apple. With my anorexic ways, I guess I eat apples differently. I like them cut up with no skin on them.
Cody took out the apple and started searching for a knife to peel the skin off. I told him he really didn’t have to and that I could find something else. In my mind I didn’t want to burden him with it. I know my mom always got really annoyed when I ate apples because she didn’t like peeling them and all. So Cody found the knife and started peeling. He said he would eat the skin and peeled the whole apple and then cut it for me. He asked me if I liked them in smaller pieces and I said yes, so he cut them smaller.
For some reason that showed me that he loved me and cared about me. It was as if I suddenly felt loved again. With what Cody did, it felt very unloving. I figured out a lot yesterday because I wrote my feelings down. I realized that what I needed from Cody was to have him show me that he does love and care about me. He had no idea that cutting the apple would have such an impact. I told him afterwards and he was shocked. Hell, I was shocked. Suddenly that seemed to fix a lot. It really made me feel loved because he took care of me. He didn’t think of it as a burden, he just wanted me to eat. It meant a lot to me that he would do that. Maybe it means so much because I know my mom would get annoyed with me asking that. But no matter the reason, the point is I feel loved again. I feel like he respects me and that he does care.
Things are looking up for us, and hopefully with therapy later today it will just keep getting better.