Last night wasn’t good. I was suicidal. So much so I had a plan. Cody and I talked though and he got me to calm down. But what I really want to talk about is the reason I was so down.
I am sick and tired of seeing men disrespect women. Honestly it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes and makes me want to smack them when they say ignorant or misogynistic crap. Yesterday we were hanging with Cody’s two friends. They are well… let’s just say I would not want to ever date a guy like that. One is a complete asshole when it comes to women, and the other just stupid (as in intellectually stupid.) Sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s what I’ve witnessed. Then we go to Bass Pro Shop and this guy wants a cigarette. He asks the asshole friend if he can have one and says, “she will give you head for it,” referring to the girl he was with. Luckily she didn’t hear that, but my fucking god that was insanely disrespectful. That infuriated me beyond belief but I stayed silent. I stayed silent mainly out of fear, and only today did I realize I was angry that I stayed silent. Someone should tell that asshole off. But no one did.
Then later we were all playing pool at this club, and there was this stupid tv show on and it referred to these hookers as bitches and that also didn’t sit well with me. I just… I hate seeing that men think its okay to call women names like “bitch”, “slut”, “cunt”, etc. It really drives me crazy to hear that…also calling women “crazy”. It also makes my blood boil when I see that in TV or even like that man who wanted a cigarette, just treats women as objects, or something tradable, or just there to please a guy. Like I am sorry, but I’m not, but seriously guys need to understand the BASIC concept that women are people too. They are human beings and they are equal.
Yes I am ranting right now, but I really need to get these feelings out. It also sucks to see Cody’s friends sometimes acting so ignorant about women’s rights and just treating a woman with basic dignity instead of treating them like “disposable pieces of ass”. Yeah, I really needed to vent. It just gets me really depressed when I see this day in and day out. And when Cody laughs at some of the sexist asshole humor that is honestly seriously offensive just makes it even worse. It makes me think that he is just like those other ignorant guys. But I know Cody isn’t and I am teaching him a lot about women and their rights and how to treat them or not make those kinds of offensive jokes. Like, honestly before we met Cody thought it was okay to joke about certain topics that are obviously not okay to joke about *cough* rape *cough*. Yeah. But Cody has learned a lot from me. I just wish more girls would tell their guys about this stuff. Cody told me that no girl ever spoke up about anything like that in the past that he has been with.
I know that sometimes guys say that girls shouldn’t let the guy treat them so badly but sometimes it should be the guy knowing not to do it in the first place, right? I admit that after my rapes, I let guys treat me like absolute crap…because that’s what I thought I deserved. But no one, regardless of gender or sex, should be treated with inequality or like an object. We are all people, human beings with emotions. Sometimes it makes me sad to see that so many people don’t get that concept. Why can’t people treat others nicely and with dignity? What makes someone better than another person? We are all human, trying to live life, and make the best of it with the hands we were dealt. Some have great hands from the start and others unfortunately don’t, but that doesn’t mean that someone with say money is better than someone with out. We are all just people, trying to make a living and enjoy life.
Sorry again for the rant. Just really, really, had to vent.