I found out that one of Cody’s friends, well his girlfriend cheated on him. Cody and I are very sad to hear that. We love both of them, and Cody’s friend told us not to treat her any differently. It just makes me sad because she is one of the only girls I get along with, so it hurts to hear that she would do something so low. I just wish she were more mature and had told her boyfriend that things weren’t working, or exactly what the issues were to see if maybe he could change things. This is why I say communication is key.
*Trigger Warning for those with Eating Disorders*
Today I had abnormal psychology. My teacher…holy hell, I just got done venting to Cody, but my teacher is not cool. Today we studied Eating Disorders. Do you know how he started the class? He said, “At the end of class I want your opinions on whether or not you think this chapter should be taught.”
As someone with anorexia that was extremely insensitive to hear. So, just because Eating Disorders are relatively a new diagnosis they should just be skipped over? I don’t think so. Then he proceeds to his slides on anorexia. First things first, he teaches us that anorexia’s key feature is extreme weight loss. That is true, but he made it seem like anorexics are all lanky skeletons that have wasted away and that is what anorexics all look like. They all have to be extremely underweight. He made it seem like if they weren’t under the BMI then they weren’t “officially” anorexics. I am sorry but I am 5′ 2 3/4″ and my lowest weight when I was in the worst of my disorder at age 18 was 110 lbs. I wasn’t a skeleton but I was sick. At an earlier age in high school I was 106 lbs. So weight is not the defining factor. Just because I am not extremely underweight, it doesn’t mean I’m not anorexic.
Then he when talking about the subtypes of anorexics, which are restrictive and purging, he mentioned that purging was vomiting and over exercise. He neglected that laxatives and diuretics were also methods used. For me and my own anorexia, I would restrict, over exercise, and “purge” by using either laxatives or drinking excessive amounts of coffee as a form of laxative. That pissed me off.
Then he has this BMI chart that shows what is considered underweight, normal, and overweight. I would have to weigh 100 lbs to be “underweight” which to me I know is underweight, but I would consider myself underweight if I weighed 110 lbs. I think anything below 115 lbs for me is not a healthy thing. So the chart was off and a student even said to the teacher that the chart does not consider one’s body type and physique. He admitted it was true, so he gets points for that.
Then the percentage of suicide rates from anorexia seemed off. I can’t fully blame him, but anorexia is one of the deadliest psychological disorders because suicide is a issue. If you’ve read my blog you know I’ve had suicidal thoughts, and have come close to attempts. Anorexia is a huge component as to why I would want to end it all, it’s because I perceive myself as not pretty enough or skinny enough or good enough. The death records say suicide is cause of death, and they don’t say that anorexia is, so that is why the numbers are off, which he should have made aware. But he didn’t. I just feel like he didn’t completely get eating disorders.
He also talked about anorexics and the fact that it’s not that they don’t still want to eat, it’s that they refuse. He didn’t make aware that hunger cues go away after an amount of time. Like I was telling Cody after class that I couldn’t feel whether I was hungry or not and wasn’t sure if I should eat, which I should. My teacher made it sound like anorexics still feel hunger, when in reality once you’ve had the disorder and restricted for a certain amount of time, your hunger cues are lost. That is why I could go two days without realizing I was hungry- because I didn’t feel it at all. I can still go a whole day forgetting to eat just because I honestly don’t feel the hunger cues. Half the time someone has to remind me. Only recently has my stomach begun to growl again on occasion, which I see as an improvement. I can’t tell you how many months it’s been since I’ve heard my stomach growl. Cody’s growls all the time, hence why we go eat. So my teacher messed that up too.
Then talking about bulimia and binge eating disorders, he was alright with. Still messed some things up, but not as bad as the way he made the class perceive anorexia. I literally ranted to Cody for at least 20 minutes because I was so angry. I hated that be taught the class incorrectly on some key facts to each disorder.
But yeah… It was annoying.It was also a very triggering class. I am having tea right now and I have a chocolate croissant…and I am finding it extremely difficult to even try to take a bite of it.