Cody and I had a huge talk on Friday. It was about the misstep with the porn thing because that had been coming up lately for me. We sat down together and talked, completely honestly and openly with details. I honestly thought during that talk I was going to cry or he was but we got through everything without there being tears. Plus we had amazing sex after.
The thing is Cody and I had been making progress regarding that, as you’ve read, but the one thing he kept denying was that it was a form of cheating so to speak. Now I know that people are going to have there varying opining about this, but I find it to be a type of cheating on a lesser level. To me it’s a betrayal, and having Cody say that he did cheat me in a way with what he did helped a lot. How did we get there? We talked, but I also showed him these articles that I found, and I knew that the logic in some of them would really help Cody understand where I was coming from.
For those who actually are interested in the controversial topic of porn and what it is to some people or how it’s viewed here are the articles I showed Cody and it really opened his own eyes. For those who don’t view porn as cheating or a betrayal, I respect that too, so hopefully you can respect my feelings on it as well.
- Yes, Using Porn is Cheating. Here’s Why. (This is my favorite article out of the ones I’m sharing. This is the one that really opened Cody’s eyes.)
- Is Watching Porn Cheating? Science Says Yes
- Married Men: Your Porn Habit is Actually an Adultery Habit (This one I wasn’t as much a fan of, but I thought to share it anyways. It’s more religious, so for me it was a bit dramatic for my taste, but for those who are religious maybe this article would speak more to you)
- The Different Types of Cheating: Emotional Affair vs. Using Pornography (I actually really liked this article, and is my second favorite only because it talks not only about physical cheating but emotional cheating)
Cody didn’t read the last article because by the second article he was already convinced and saw my side and how it had affected me. For him to finally get to that realization that it was a lesser form of cheating was huge. There are the five languages of apologies and one of mine is the one that takes responsibility, and to me it finally felt like Cody took responsibility instead of making it lesser than it was. Also a while back I found this documentary on Netflix called Hot Girls Wanted about the porn industry and I found it interesting to watch if anyone wants to check that out.
Over the weekend we looked at a house and an apartment. We loved the apartment…only hook is that it is in a dangerous neighborhood, so Cody refused to let us move there because the most important thing to him is my safety. So we found an apartment in a neighborhood where Cody grew up that he loves, and I like too, and we hope to hear back from that person today to see if we can look at it soon. I am really hoping they get back to us because if this place doesn’t work out…we are back to square one. But as Cody has been telling it, as long as we have each other, that’s enough and we will be okay.