Today Cody made a huge step forward! He posted on Facebook openly admitting he is a porn addict. He told me it was okay to post his post on here, so I will in support of him.
“It seems to me that there is a problem in today’s society that most people are unaware of. To some, it’s not a problem, to others it may be, some don’t realize it and most just deny it completely. To me personally it is a major problem and i didn’t even know it until earlier this year. I’ve had it for probably almost a decade from what i can remember, and in the past years has helped feed a circle of feeling hopeless and like I wasn’t going anywhere in life and even some depression i didn’t even know I had. I’ve been addicted to porn for a long time and it took me a while to even realize let alone admit that it was a problem. It’s not a problem for everybody but for those that it is they may not realize it. You’d be surprised how much it changes your personality and especially how you view not just woman but everyone. It makes you think that societies view of how a man and woman should look is that “perfect” photo shopped add from clothes stores and magazines when in reality nobody looks like that. It makes the “perfect guy muscular with a perfect face and hair and the girls are unrealistically skinny and most don’t realize what hell they go through with there awful health killing diets. And nobody realizes that most porn stars in fact don’t want to do porn and the suicide rate is atrocious. The average life expectancy of a porn star isn’t even 40 years old. The only 2 states that it’s legal in don’t even do it legally.
The biggest problem is the effect it has on relationships in society. Most divorces are because of porn and other infidelity that is the cause of a porn addiction that got so bad they went to physical cheating. My relationship has taken a huge toll because of what I’ve done with porn. Anna told me from the start that she can’t handle that in a relationship, her anorexia would take over. I did it for an entire year behind her back. When she found out i promised i wouldn’t do it ever again. Of course being an addict that didn’t happen. I couldn’t understand why i wouldn’t stop and i was disgusted with myself inside. This happened a few more times where i said i’d stop and didn’t until she found everything I had done for the past year or so a few months ago and it really hurt us.There is nothing in the world we argue about. There is nothing we can’t have a short conversation about before coming to a compromise. We agree on almost EVERYTHING and am not exaggerating. The things we don’t agree on we talk and come to an agreement but that’s rare we don’t agree on something. We’ve rarely been apart in the past 16 months besides work and class and we still miss each other when we’re apart. We never fight about anything except for my porn addiction. I ruined the best thing I’ve ever had because of it. Fortunately she’s amazing and has stayed with me and is helping me through it. It is still difficult though. We fight more often all about things that come back to what I did. I lied to her constantly as an addict always does and it took a while to know and admit that it was an addiction. Luckily enough it was not as escalated as I have read of others that were much much worse. I never went passed vanilla and I never got Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, and yes it exists. If you watch and get off to porn too much you may start needing more and more porn and different kinds just to get hard or even turned on at all. Eventually you won’t be able to get an erection, not even for real people. It can be cured by a 90 cleanse from porn and getting off at all. A lot of addicts will go to some fucked up shit on porn sites even child and incest and other taboo shit. Their relationships will crumble and that’s usually what causes divorce. If your partner, girlfriend or whoever you’re with is not ok with it and you do it anyway, you’re letting other woman into the relationship and that’s cheating. It’s infidelity and if it’s left untreated and can escalate to going to other woman physically and emotionally. Some couples and partners are ok with each other watching porn, and that’s fine if they are both ok with it but as long as they know that porn is mostly rape and sex trafficking. They usually start out modeling or something innocent and simple and someone tells them they can make a lot of money just having sex. They start of simple and easy but the next thing they know they’re taking it in every whole and on coke and alcohol just to get through it and they’re pregnant or have syphilis for the fifth time because the tests the male actors get for std’s are mostly fake. That’s not all cases but it is a lot of cases. Like i said, even the legitimate companies don’t abide by the laws. The industry is mostly unregulated.
Since I’ve stopped, I’ve been so much happier. Work is better, I’m passing classes with more than a C+ i have all A’s now. I finally feel like I’m working on my future because I’ve felt so stuck for so long. And my relationship is better even though there are some fights about the past porn use and what it did. Also the sex is great, it was great before but now it’s the best sex ever every time. Porn really does effect how you interact with people and can very well hinder any kind of intimacy with people, not just in a romantic relationship. Quitting has just overall made me a better person and feel like a better person. I’ve seen so many stories that are very sad and some that are very nice to see that people recover. It’s also nice to see that I’m not alone by long shot. It’s a huge problem not only in the U.S. but it’s such a serious issue in Australia that a mayor declared that he will try to make his city porn free. High school students in Australia take nudes of girls in class and not only rate them but trade them as if it’s a currency.
It really is a serious problem and I know many of you will disagree and I really don’t care about your arguments on this. This is my experience and my opinions with some facts thrown in. This is not me wanting to argue although if you have polite counterpoints or questions I am more than happy to talk. This is a serious issue and I believe awareness of such a problem should be spread to not only help people who share this problem but also address the insecurity that things like this cause with guys and girls alike where they feel they have to match this impossible picture of perfection that society paints and that even their partners/girlfriends/boyfriends expect them to look like. They even say they want someone more porn or model like not knowing the kind of verbal knife that they are using to stab them with. It’s serious shot to self esteem and self worth. I hope everyone can understand this and help make people aware or at least know that this is a problem. I know this was a very long post but thank you for being a real friend to me and taking the time to read it.”
I am very proud of the progress he has made and the fact that he was willing to be open about his struggle.
His friends have been so supportive. His sister and brother told him to take down the post because they think it will hurt his chances of employment in the future. His brother also said that post was a lie and that Cody doesn’t have an issue. Cody is upset that his siblings aren’t being supportive, but happy that his friends are.