So I am making tea in my apartment when I get a call asking if I can give him a ride back to his dorm. I say sure. He gets in the car, and I mention this thing my therapist told me to ask him.
Sidenote- I had therapy today and because I was talking about friends and leaving and how sad I would be, she told me to ask Quick Silver to list all the qualities, inner and outer, that he see’s in me, or feels from me and why he chose me as a friend.
So I mention that he could make like a graphic design poster with his signature thing that he made and stuff, so we will discuss that further later.
But then on the ride home he tells me, “I need to talk to you about something. It’s going to be uncomfortable, and you might be upset, but- wait, I’ll just tell you when we get to the parking lot.”
My heart dropped. I thought he was going to well, I don’t even want to write it, but if you’ve read my past posts about Quick Silver you can guess what I thought he was going to confront me about.
So we get to the parking lot, he tells me to drive to the top floor for privacy. At this point my heart is racing and I’m trying to think my way out of what I think he is going to confront me about.
We almost get to the top when I see Captain America pulling out. I stop my car mid road in the parking lot, hop out and he opens his door and I give him a huge hug and ask if we can hang out before I leave. So Captain America and I will hopefully hang out tomorrow evening!
I get back in my car and park on the top level. It takes Quick Silver about 5-10 minutes before he really speaks much of anything, all the while I’m dying inside, getting nauseous.
Quick Silver comes to some epiphany, and realizes what he was going to confront me about, well it wasn’t even me. I can’t get into details because it involves Quick Silver and people in his life, but it was a mistake.
Basically he thought I was having suicidal thoughts, and was freaking out and thought I would be angry at him or something. I literally was so relieved when he told me that. I dodged a bullet! But then we got talking about many other things.
Quick Silver was very nice yesterday and mentioned how he tried not to look at my blog page much to respect my privacy. I thought that was sweet. But we got talking about Andy and his girlfriend. Fuck. This conversation was intensely painful.
We get talking about Andy’s gf and her worries and then cheating comes up. Quick Silver was like, “Well at least Andy hasn’t fucked up in a big way, like cheating.” I stay silent. I can’t betray Andy and I can’t lie to Quick Silver so I just stay silent, and then I kinda panic and say, “This is making me uncomfortable, let’s not talk about Andy and the possibility of cheating, I just don’t like this conversation.” Quick Silver was suspicious of me but dropped the conversation. I was emotionally exhausted after all that.
We then went on to talk about him a bit and how he honestly doesn’t care about romance or any of that stuff and he can’t imagine him falling in love. We have very different ideas of what we want out of our future. Quick Silver wants a successful career where he can travel. I want a successful career, with a husband, house, dog and cat.
Quick Silver and I ended up sitting in my car for at least an hour. But in all honesty, I was so glad to have hung out with him today. So far today has been an amazing day! And before leaving, Quick Silver was like, “We’re good right?” I was confused, and said, “What do you mean?” Quick Silver was like, “You’re not mad at me anymore about almost giving you a heart attack, right?” I was like, “Of course not! Totally past that. We’re good.” He replied, “Okay, good.”
Quick Silver and I will hang out saturday, the day before I leave. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am really going to miss him and Andy.