Cody still needs to paint around one window, but besides that the bedroom is painted! We are going to be moving things up there today. We need help getting things out of the hang out room, but we will do that later.
I’m excited to finally be moving up there. The room looks great! It will be nice to have our own space instead of being in my bedroom which is small. We have lots of closet room and plenty of drawers.
I think Cody will be getting off of his computer soon, so maybe he and I will actually start moving stuff up there. I also wanted to go to pier 1 to get some stuff for the attic. The hang out room will have a coffee, tea, and snack area so I wanna get some things to hold sugar and stuff like that. I don’t know if that will happen today though, I don’t know if we have time.
We might go to dinner with his dad tonight. Originally it was supposed to be just us but his dad texted him if he wanted to get dinner with him. I just don’t want dinner to be awkward if I am struggling with whatever meal I’m having. I know Cody’s sister and brother know about my anorexia, but I don’t know if his dad does, and how awkward would it be if the dad asked why Cody was telling me to eat? I don’t know, I also don’t want that to make it seem like I’m not good enough for Cody or that… I just … I guess I just want to be the “trophy girl.”
That’s just a role I am used to. I like it when parents like me, and I want them to approve of me being with their son. I don’t want them thinking of me in a negative light, or thinking because I have a certain issue it’s something that they don’t want their son dealing with or having to deal with. I don’t know. Stupid anxiety.
I also just don’t know what we would all talk about at dinner. I mean, I quit my job to go to treatment, and now I don’t have a job and I’m not even going to treatment. I mean, I have a therapist I am going to see this week who specializes in eating disorders. But seriously I don’t exactly look like the greatest catch at the moment.
I actually was happy about my job because I felt like that made Cody’s dad more proud of me, or like I was worth being with his son. I don’t know. I just wouldn’t know what to say if his dad asked me how I was doing. I don’t lie, or I don’t like lying. Cody and his dad would probably talk about work and such, so I would be left out. I just don’t want to feel like a third wheel. But I do like hanging out with Cody’s family. I do want to get to know Cody’s dad more though. But maybe I just don’t want to go out to dinner because I have my period and I’ve been a bit crampy. Who knows.
I just am excited about the attic and I’ll stay focused on that.