I’ve Been MIA


I know I’ve been MIA. I haven’t been on for many reasons. One being school, and the second reason I will reveal next week. School has been keeping me quite busy. I am writing a paper on Rape for my Psychology and Law class. I am writing about how rape is one of the most challenging crimes to prosecute in today’s society. I am very excited and passionate about my paper.

Through doing research and reading articles for my paper I feel much more informed than I was when I was sexually assaulted and then raped two times. I truly wish I had the knowledge I have now, so I could go back and make sure I didn’t shower, or wait too long to report. I also have gotten quite angry, thinking back to when I did report. I could tell the officer who was taking down my statement and interviewing me for Monster didn’t take anything I said seriously or thought I was lying. I hated that feeling. The worst part was weeks later when he called me to tell me the DA didn’t want to take my case, and that Monster said he didn’t rape me. As if my rapist saying he didn’t rape me equivalated his innocence. That officer took my rapist’s side. The second rape that I reported was for Owen. The initial report wasn’t with the officer who I would be getting a formal interview from, but the first officer wanted to take down as much information to pass along to the officer I would be meeting with. The officer I eventually met with seemed kind, sensitive, and understanding. I really had hope. This officer seemed to, at the beginning, want to investigate the case. Of course, once we did the recorded phone call, and Owen denied everything and attempted to gaslight me, the officer said he would call me with more information. He never called. I called, he said he didn’t have anything and that he would call me. Again, he never called back. Another officer lets me down. I only hope that my rapists don’t go on to rape other women. I hope my sexual assaulter, Peter, doesn’t go on to assault other women, though I would think that Peter would be. I regret not reporting Peter because I personally feel like he had done that before to other women and that I wasn’t the first.

The first part of my paper I am addressing the problems that make rape difficult to prosecute, such as different definitions in each state for rape and sexual assault, the fact that victims are the ones that are often questioned on their character rather than the suspect, and the lack of physical evidence in rape cases. The second half of the paper is on trying to offer solutions to the issues. I think rape should have a universal definition across the country, and sexual assault should have a universal definition across the country. There should be education at a younger age about rape. I think the first time rape was really talked about and explained was in college, possibly high school. When kids have sex-ed they should also learn about consent and rape. Then, police should be trained, or have a forensic psychologist or neuropsychologist present in interviews so that the psychologist can explain the victim’s behavior instead of the cops just assuming the victim is lying.

I’ve only gotten my introduction done so far, but next week is spring break and I will be working on the paper all week.



Online Classes


I’ve never taken online classes, but I am doing that this semester. The Peer Counseling Program is in NYC, but my other two classes (Psych and Law, and Theories of Personality) are online.


This is week two of the semester. I am very anxious about the Psych and Law class, mainly because everything in that class will be new to me. Theories of Personality, however, is much easier because I’ve already come across most of the theorists in other psychology classes.


Has anyone ever taken online classes? If so, was there anything that helped with time management or focus? So far I am doing pretty well to actually sit down, do the readings, and do the assignments associated with the readings, but I do wonder if I will be able to keep that up.


California Enacts “Yes Means Yes” Law


Yes Means Yes

That’s the article I just read. Honestly I am not sure what to think about it. I’m glad it’s gotten people talking but I am not sure the “yes means yes” is as good as it seems. There’s pro’s and cons to this law. What is good is that it’s acknowledging that women and men who get assaulted don’t always have the courage to say no and that silence is not consent. Sometimes they are being threatened or are too scared or aren’t really conscious or are wasted out of their minds.

I have to say though, this law does present some issues that people commented on. What if the person said yes but was coerced? That’s just one thought. And how would one prove that verbal consent was given, and under what circumstances?

I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who asks me if I’m okay with having sex before it happens, or while we are making out. He even will check in with me during sex at times because he knows my history of sexual assault and being raped two times, and knows that sometimes while we are in the middle of having sex I could change my mind about continuing, and when I do, he gets off me and we get dressed.

I know that some people have commented that it’s ridiculous to ask every time before you have sex, but what’s the harm? Maybe it’s not “sexy” but it’s respectful.

What are your opinions on this new law? I still want to read more about it so I can make an informed decision and opinion.



With The Case going on I abso-fucking-lutely need as many distractions as possible. Cody has been a great one, and so has school.


Though I’m not a fan of the amount of sociology reading I have. It seems endless, and it’s boring me at the moment. My abnormal psychology reading isn’t as bad because so far it’s been a refresher for me. I also have some law reading which I am nervous to even open the book for fear of finding something completely and utterly dry to read.



Cody actually started his homework the other night! It was pretty big for him since in the past he just didn’t do his homework. My goal is that we get that one assignment finished tonight at some point. I just hope we don’t distract each other, which totally happened the other night. Though I stayed more focused than he did.


My sister has made contact with us and she wants us to send her clothes and money. I am seriously sad and possibly very likely depressed because I feel like I’ve lost my sister. I am doing whatever I can to keep my mood up (in a healthy way, not in a bad coping skills way). But it’s been really hard. I’ve wanted to self-harm a lot since she’s been gone. But thinking of Cody and his reaction keeps me from acting on it. I hope it stays that way. I would hate to let myself and Cody down.


I just feel like I am going stir-crazy with being in my house so much. It just reminds me of the fact that my sister isn’t here. Plus October is coming up and Halloween is my favorite holiday and it was our holiday. We would always go all out for halloween and decorating the house. I told mom to prepare for the house to be decorated but my mom doesn’t want me too, which isn’t happening. I need it to be festive around the house. I need it to seem like things are normal. We all can’t spiral down into a hole of despair and stop living our lives. We need to just keep moving forward like everything is okay.

But seriously I can’t wait to start looking for halloween decorations and to take them out from the basement and start decorating!

Okay, enough of me distracting myself with blogging. I’ve got to get back to my boring sociology reading. I’ve only got two pages left… hope everyone else is having a good start to the school year!


Signed up for classes!

I have been major stressing about school but I finally signed up for classes, which start on thursday 😛


But I am taking Sociology 101, Law and Evidence, and Abnormal Psychology. I am really excited to be going back to school because now I have a goal, a purpose. The summer can be great and all, but I like being in school and learning. It makes me feel complete and happy. Also Cody’s classes are on tues/thurs mornings, and my class is in the afternoon so hopefully we will have a little time before I head to the city so I can help him with the math class.


It’s going to be a huge change to go to NYC and be in a criminal justice school. I think one of my classes has like 100 people in it, which terrifies the living hell out of me. I am used to classes that are twenty students maximum. My other two classes have like thirty students, so that’s more of what I’m used to.


I really hope I have good teachers. Only one of the teachers I have was on rate my professor that got really good ratings, so I am hoping for the best with the other two teachers.


Spent the whole day scheduling

All day I’ve spent scheduling classes I will have to take/want to take at my new school to graduate. Each semester you take four classes… and as I put together my schedule it looks like I’ll be in school for a while.



  • AWR 201 (writing and research)
  • MATH 160 (College Algebra)

Natural Science

  • BIO 124 (Biological Science)
  • CHE 128 (Intro Chemistry)


  • COM 225 (Media Writing)
  • Something else-haven’t figured it out

Writing Intensive (Not sure if these fulfill writing intensive requirement..)

  • WRI 240 (Writing Drama)
  • WRI 200 (Intro to Creative Writing)
  • WRI 220 (Writing on and for the web)

That would fulfill my general education requirements

Major classes that I wish to take


  • CRM 101 (Intro to criminology)
  • CRM 102 (intro to criminal justice)
  • CRM 200 (law enforcement)
  • CRM 206 (criminal investigation)
  • CRM 210 (Ethics in Justice)
  • CRM 300 (Victimology!)
  • CRM 307 (Crime Scene Investigation)
  • CRM 310 (Abnormal behavior and criminality)
  • CRM 311 (criminal law and procedure)
  • CRM 400 (crime and punishment and current controversies)
  • CRM 401 (Internship in criminology)
  • CRM 406 (White Collar and Elite crime)
  • CRM 427 (Death Penalty)
  • CRM 451 (Senior Thesis)
  • CRM 499 (Ciminology Capstone Experience)

Minor classes


  • PSY 211 (Stats and Experimental methods 1)
  • PSY 220 (Fundamentals of Biopsych and learning)
  • PSY 303 (Abnormal Psychology)
  • PSY 319 (Psychology of Personal Relationships)


It looks like three years plus a semester… Damn-it! I don’t even know how that’s possible…maybe because I want to take SO many criminology courses… But the learning is worth it right?