Life is a Balancing Act

Between being a wife, a mom, a student, a relationship coach, and a victim advocacy intern, life is a bit crazy right now.

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When I am home, I am with Baby A or working, and if I am not home, I am at school or my internship learning and working. I also, with my relationship coaching, have to run the blog side, which entails of accepting and reading guest posts, making sure my regular contributors are meeting deadlines, making sure the content calendar is solid. I feel like I don’t get a moments rest most days. Oh, and don’t forget reformer pilates and couples therapy somewhere in all there!

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Last night was different, Cody and I were able to have an amazing date night at home. My mom got him a wok and a cookbook for Asian foods since that’s our favorite. He ended up making an amazing meal and we watched “Life As We Know It.” The funny thing is, we watched that movie when we were first dating and I was thinking I am not having kids, and Cody figured kids were far off in the future. Little did we know that Baby A would be arriving only two years later! But we loved the movie, even more, this time around. We appreciated those new parenting moments and laughed at how accurate some of those scenes were.

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Given that I’ve realized how busy we are, I decided to make my coaching hours between two days instead of three, that way we have one weekend day to ourselves. Cody, once school starts wants to work Saturdays from 5am-1pm. Which means I coach on Saturdays from 2:30pm to 8:00pm if I am 100% booked that day. I love the scene with Holly and Messer and the scheduling board because honestly, with how busy we are, I can’t keep track of Cody’s schedule as well. I used to be able to know both our schedules, but with a kid, it’s been more challenging to remember.

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My goal, though, is to make sure Cody and I get “us” time every week. Last nights date was amazing and honestly, with the holidays and finals, we were just running around constantly. It was so nice to just sit down with him and relax. Plus…the amazing sex afterward didn’t hurt as well! Seriously, making sure your sex life is stable while having a baby is a HUGE challenge. It takes planning. Yes, planning. Cody fought that concept for so long, but because we did cave to it, it’s been so helpful for us to stay connected.

What are some ways you make sure to make “you” or “couple” time when your life is busy?

XOXO Anna

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Christmas with a Baby is… Challenging

Cody and I love Baby A but we definitely struggled this year with getting around to all the family. Christmas Eve, we left Baby A home because he is teething with back molars coming in.

Christmas day we all opened presents as quickly as possible for Baby A’s sake. Cody totally outdid me for Christmas! He got me a cappuccino/latte Keurig machine! I was totally shocked. He also got me a typewriter, and a huge whiteboard with a section for a yearly calendar, goals, priorities, notes, etc to help me with my business. I got Cody tons of car tools and stuff which he loved! We got Baby A some really fun developmental toys.

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We later went to one of his aunt’s house with Baby A but once everyone was arriving it was too loud, so Cody took Baby A home and my parents watched him and Cody came back. It was a great evening with family.

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Today I will help my mom with making a post-Christmas dinner, and then have a weekly business meeting with my mastermind where we push each other to meet our goals and keep one another accountable.

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I have a couple beta testing my relationship coaching program and they have their first session on Friday! That means making sure someone is home to watch Baby A. I am so excited to work with them because their issues are exactly what my program tackles – communication, trust/fears, and sex. I also have my singles client on Friday and it’s his last session before graduating! He went from coming into the program dead set on winning his ex-wife back to coming to the realization that he doesn’t actually want her romantically anymore and is focusing on rebuilding his life. I am so proud of him and the work he has done. I absolutely love seeing the transformation of my clients and knowing my programs work.

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To me, part of my Christmas was knowing that my clients are in a better place, accomplishing their romantic and personal goals. I really look forward to working with the other couples that are interested, but wanted to wait until the holidays were over. I am so excited for 2019! So many plans and goals.

I hope you all had an amazing holiday season and I hope you all have an amazing 2019!

XOXO Anna

Finals, Holidays, and Work… It Never Ends

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Finals are this week. I have two classes, and one of them ended last week because we, as a class, agreed to turn in the final early. My other class, I have a presentation tomorrow. A bit nervous and hoping it goes well. Cody’s presentation for his class is tomorrow. So tonight, after couples therapy, we have work to do!

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Holidays are… up and down. First, we haven’t even decorated the house for Christmas at all this year. It’s been crazy busy. Second, we are so behind on getting people gifts, and three, we don’t have much money to get people gifts…. so it’s going to be interesting this year. We got Baby A two gifts so far and that’s it. We still need to get my mom and dad gifts, his dad and siblings gifts, and each other gifts. Then we are going to Cody’s aunt’s house for Christmas eve… and that hopefully will be a fun night!

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My business is going well in my opinion. I am having a lot of fun with it. My clients love my coaching programs and are seeing results. The one thing I just hate about business is the advertising and marketing. That’s my struggle. I’ve always struggled to put myself out there, so it’s been challenging to “promote” my business. I am all about honesty and I want to make sure that readers and clients can see the genuineness. I just am always working. If I am not at my internship or doing school work, I am running my business. There are so many things I’ve learned in this journey of creating a business… and one thing that I learned is I need to make some money so I can get a freelancer to do some of the work that I am not a fan of doing and not as skilled at doing.

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Cody and I have been doing really well for the past month. For those who have been reading my blog for a while, you may think, “Wait, didn’t they get married over a year ago and she is saying only for the past month they’ve been good?” Yeah. Well, there have been the ups and downs, but if Cody wasn’t facing his addiction and damage, we weren’t moving forward. Cody and I have been doing the Intimacy Anorexia books. I am not an IA though closed off because Cody seemed to not care, and so we are doing them together, and I can’t even tell you how amazing we have been doing.

Cody actually talks to me, has been less angry and facing his past, and it’s been nice. I even told him it feels like we have “us” back. So, fingers crossed, we are going to keep this upward trend.

Another thing, Cody has been inspired by me creating a business that he wants to create his own business too. I want to support him in it, but also, given that I am trying to run a new business, I personally feel adding on another new business at this very moment wouldn’t be ideal. I think it’s great he wants to do it, and I want to help him, create his website for him and more, but I think we need to be more strategic about it. So I’ll be mentioning that over the holidays as we continue to talk business.

How is everyone else doing with Holidays and family this year? Hope you’re all doing well!

XOXO Anna

Presents, Money, and Work

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Cody got one of his birthday presents this past weekend. I had planned to get him a pool table…but because we are moving out there isn’t space at the new place, but I already had the money- with the help of some of his friends- and so I gave him the money in an envelope with a birthday letter and picture of the pool table.

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Cody is very happy that we have the money for a pool table, so when we do eventually have the space for one we can buy it immediately. Also Cody and I have been working on the website for my parents business. My mom said she would pay me $15/hour to work on it with Cody. I got a check for $195 which was nice…because after giving Cody his birthday present I was left with under $100 in my bank. So I deposited that, and then I checked the mail today and got my tax money back! That also helps a bit. I am also hoping that I can save some of the money from babysitting. Plus once Cody and I finish the website (which will take weeks) my mom said she would talk to my dad about giving each of us a bonus because she has wanted a new website for years and we are the only ones who have taken initiative.

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I still have a couple of podcasts left for my police paper to listen to. I then have to actually write the paper… which will take a lot of connecting the dots and trying to figure out my opinion on if Adnan is actually guilty of murder. I don’t know when I’ll have time to write this paper with moving, babysitting, going to NYC for school…time just seems to slip away. But I’ll get it done. I have no doubt. But super excited for moving! That is probably what I can’t stop thinking about the most.

XOXO Anna

The Case, School, and Cody

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My family is stressing majorly. The police can’t do anything. We are trying to figure out our next move. We’ve called our family friends who are both lawyers and asked if they had anyone they knew who could help us. We still don’t have any information on the three mysterious phone numbers. My sister hasn’t used her phone very much yesterday, and its been off all day today. We are all probably losing it. My mom didn’t go to work, I took the day off from class. My dad went into work but is simultaneously working on The Case.

I didn’t go to class for a couple reasons.

  1. We have a sub today
  2. He was going to let us out early
  3. I got my period and had cramps

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Cody has been a fucking god send through all this. He is the only one that is able to ground me and make it seem like life is normal. He has been super sweet to me, like he always has been, but there have been some little things over the past week that have just stood out to me. I have told him how much I appreciate him being there.

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I still have a shit ton of work to do but I can’t find the motivation for it, which normally isn’t my problem, it’s Cody’s. I have 60 pages of Sociology reading, I have to brief a case from my Law and Evidence class, and I have to do a writing assignment for Abnormal Psychology. Then later today when Cody is off work, I have to help him with his homework. All I know is I will definitely be needing coffee or tea if I wanna stop watching Criminal Minds and actually do my work.

XOXO Anna

Amazing Concert and Funny Parents

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Yesterday after treatment Cody, me, and his friend and girlfriend all went to the city to see Rise Against. Holy hell I haven’t had so much fun since GA when I was at school. I moshed and this time I didn’t get a concussion!

Cody did a great job at keeping me safe. His friend who we will call Drake and his girlfriend who we’ll call Claire, were so much fun! I really love the both of them. Such fun and great company. At one point Cody left to get me water. Drake got lost from Claire and I and a circle pit was forming, so we got out of there before we got caught up in that. When we went back we couldn’t find Cody but found Drake. Drake couldn’t find Cody either.

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We made it back to where we originally were in the pit and Claire got hit in the head. Drake took her out and I realized I was alone in the pit. It was like perfect timing because Cody appeared out of nowhere and I hugged him so hard. I told him I had been looking everywhere and couldn’t find him and that I was so glad I wasn’t alone in the pit before things got rough again.

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The train ride home was very interesting.¬†Also we have a potential bowling date next week with them, so I’m super excited! There were some real fun moments and then moments when I was royally pissed at Cody, but I couldn’t stay mad at him for long. We made up and showered and went to bed. We got breakfast this morning which was nice.

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After getting breakfast with Cody I went over to my parents office. I was telling my mom all about the concert and telling her about how I hated being at the house because of the negative vibes from my sister. She interrupted me at one point and said, “I honestly was not sure what to expect when you got here. You never come to the office. I thought you were going to tell me that Cody and you wanted to get married or something.” I started laughing at that. My dad soon came in like five minutes after and he said, “Are you and Cody eloping, is that what you needed to come to work to tell us?” He was being sarcastic but it was funny since mom had just made her comment only minutes before.

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I then talked to them about how we needed to do something about my sister. I also talked to them about what I could possibly do at the business eventually which they aren’t sure of yet. Also talked school stuff. Now I’m making lunch, listening to music, while my sister is fucking pissed at me in the other room.

Hopefully the rest of my day goes well…fingers crossed!

XOXO Anna