MST= Meal Support Therapy
That’s what we would do after eating a meal in treatment. We would rate our fullness on a scale of 1-10 and say how we emotionally feel.
I can say on a scale of 1-10 I feel like a 5 and feelings would be bloated, uncomfortable, fat, and proud (because I ate).
It sucks. I’m still hungry a bit, but because I feel uncomfortable with my body I probably won’t eat anymore, or I will and feel guilty. This is what I hate about eating disorders.
For me especially, feelings affect whether I eat or not. Below is an example of my therapist at the treatment center, listening to a conversation I was having about feelings and food and and actions. It may be confusing, but for those with eating disorders you may see a connection or relate to some of it.
Sorry if it’s confusing. I know my therapist doesn’t have the most clear hand writing.
But I just wanted to post this because it honestly is a huge struggle to keep on my meal plan on my own. When in treatment it’s easier because there’s more structure. Now I’m on my own, and I have to force myself to make food.
It’s funny, I haven’t looked at that picture in a while, but I laugh as I read it because it mentions me drinking tea to fill up, and as I write this, I’m drinking tea. Of course, I am not drinking tea to fill up (right now) but I do occasionally do that.
But I’ve decided that I will make a snack in a bit, because it’s the healthy thing to do. I know that, at this moment I hate my reflection and feel fat but my feelings and emotions are distorting. I know that the bloated feeling will leave. Everyone gets bloated after they eat because their stomach is full. Logically I know I am not fat and that I am not ugly, but eating disorders are a mental illness and it’s a tough battle. But it’s a battle that I fight everyday, and will continue to fight.
XOXO Anna
You go girl!!! Even if there are mis steps this posting gives voice to your struggle and the AMAZINGLY strong person you are!! Cheering from the sidelines👍
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Thanks! That means a lot =)
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You got this girl! ❤
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Thanks!
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