Helping that Suicidal Friend Again

This time when I went over he was wasted, and I was in over my head. I didn’t know what to do, so I texted Quick Silver, and he talked to Andy and they both headed over. They helped me a lot with that friend. The thing was, I was not in a really good place to help him because he texted me while I was having my own PTSD breakdown. It wasn’t too bad and I wasn’t too far into it, but I was in a state where I was triggered easily. After a while of us being with him and watching a movie, Andy said that Quick Silver and I could go home. I think Andy saw how hard it was for me to keep it together.

When Quick Silver and I got back to my place we hung out. I got my profile from him finally. I mentioned in an earlier post that I had given Quick Silver my profile of him, but he didn’t give mine because it was too late. So that was interesting to hear. We talked about my anorexia and how having no lighters and safety pins has made me fall back on my anorexia a bit. I’ve been doing my best to eat, but I tend to skip one meal.

I also had found video’s of Owen on my computer from last quarter and I had watched them before I went to help my friend. Quick Silver put the video’s on an external hard drive, so he could put them on his computer but delete them on mine. I was adamant about the video’s not being deleted. Quick Silver asked if he thought they would be helpful in the investigation and I said I had no idea, so Quick Silver was going to watch them and get back to me.

Quick Silver had a really sad experience in the romantic department this week. I would tell it, but I’m going to respect his privacy on this. I felt bad for him in the end, because when he was telling the story it seemed promising. But talking about romance got me down. It made me think about how I feel as though I’ll never have that sweet innocent feeling again regarding romance. Quick Silver assured me I would.

Also! I got Quick Silver to write, which he never does because as he says his hand writing is “dog shit” and yeah. He is left handed though, so that makes him cooler. His hand writing is kinda bad but it doesn’t matter to me. So he crumpled up what he wrote and I got mad at him because I wanted to keep it. I got it back from him and said I was going to tape it on the wall, then Quick Silver started to wrestle me for it. I have to say one of my favorite things is when we wrestle. It reminds me of how I used to hang with my old guy friends I think.

But I am glad I saw Quick Silver and Andy, I really was hoping I would see them sometime this weekend. I know Andy is on set, and so am I. I think Quick Silver’s set fell through but he has his script to work on, so I figured we would all be too busy. I am glad they came to help me because I was warned that my friend apparently has a violent streak when drunk.

Andy and Quick Silver are giving me an idea of what friendship is like, good friendship. It’s where you guys get to hang out have fun, yet be there for someone on the bad days too, and you don’t walk out on them.

XOXO Anna